New words, by me
๐ฉ๐ปโ๐ซโโโ โ ๐ โโโ โ"Now, what is a ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐บ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฑ?" | Week 43.5 of 52
Itโs about time that the culture gained some new words. Iโm not talking about lit, Gucci as an adjective, or Hasbulla to describe an aggressive toddler.1
Iโm talking about original, utilitarian slang2 that isnโt an appropriation of Black culture!
So here are a few new words I think should have a place in the Oxford English Dictionary, at least:
Hidden Hall / Hidden Hallie - Someone who wears their face mask while alone in their car.
loopymoop - The parent of a small child who is more interested in the playground structures than the kid is, to the point where it seems competitive.
gunzo - Someone who would rather die by public hanging than give up their firearm(s).
honkaloc - Someone who, we can only deduce, must get sexual pleasure from excessively honking in residential neighborhoods.
howl-prowler - On dating apps, a guy who uses images of himself holding, petting, or otherwise hobnobbing with multiple dogs, though most of those dogs are not in his own family.
arbojabber - Someone who shadow boxes with their household plants and public trees, calling them their โtraining partnersโ
smackadoodle - A person who deserves to be smacked for multiple incidents of inconsiderate public behavior, including:
stuffing an empty Cheetos bag into a bush rather than just holding onto it and waiting until they get to a trash can;
demanding from a Starbucks barista a cup of ice, only to be on their phone by the time the barista prepares it, frantically saying, โI canโt get it right now!โ as though the barista were the one hassling them;
taking up 1.15 parking spaces with a large SUV.
jope - A joke that you hope will sound like a joke once it comes out.
flike - On social media, a dispassionate, obligatory like on someoneโs post, just because everyone else is liking it and you donโt want to feel like a hater.
grappleophagus - Someone who says they donโt need to watch every single minute of UFC, but actually does, as evidenced by having their phone out in a park, streaming it, even though they went to the park to โget groundedโ and โfocus on writing.โ
Chalamet - An in-demand, โitโ actor who appears in numerous films at once.
F.F. Flaker - A hungry person who enters their car into a fast food drive-thru, only to abruptly pivot out of the parking lot after 8 minutes, as the line is not moving at all.
radical disruptor - An employer that ghosts you after you were having a great time freelancing with them and getting along with friendly, cool teammates.
Anywhats, itโs Halloween, so I shall acknowledge it. Hope you have a cool costume, cause I donโt! Hehe. Thanks for reading, and for being an ๐คฒ ๐๐ง๐ฌ๐ข๐๐๐ซ!
Iโve been in a state of confusion since I found out that this โtoddlerโ is actually an 18-year-old Dagestani, Hasbulla Magomedov, whoโs become a social media sensation. Apparently, heโs got a form of dwarfism that makes him look and sound so young.
Iโm still processing this all. Itโs hard to wrap my mind around. Everyone seems to interact with him as though he were a small child. I legitimately thought he was a toddler who acted like a grown, aggressive man, and thatโs why it was funny. Now Iโm not sure how to feel! Iโm pretty sure Iโm still gonna laugh, but is it wrong to? In the interview linked in this footnote, Hasbulla, when asked why he thinks people like him, says, โI donโt know, maybe because we are small and rare people.โ
I should note that this idea came from Groundlings teacher Phyllis Katzโ writing class, which I just enjoyed a few weeks of.